Forgiveness

A major tenant of the Christian Faith is Forgiveness.  It’s arguably one of the most difficult.  Yet, from personal experience it is one of the most liberating.  God calls us to forgive those who hurt us the most.  That’s a tall order.

One in three women and one in seven men in the US will experience some sort of sexual abuse during their lifetime.  Those statistics aren’t going down.  It’s sobering.  Not simply because of the abuse but because of the consequences.  A vast majority of abuse victims, either will abuse someone else or will exhibit other symptoms ranging from relationship issues and promiscuity to extremes such as suicide.

If you have never experienced life with an abuse victim, you are lucky.  It changes your life in ways you may never understand.

I hate abuse in all it’s forms.  Mental, physical, sexual, even animal.  Cruelty to another being is vile.

God does continue to call us to forgiveness.  Even for those who abuse.  Even for the abused who may enter our lives and affect us.  Hating things doesn’t fix them.  Forgiving those involved does.

Forgiveness cleanses us.  When we forgive, we stop judging.  We allow ourselves to heal.  We can live life again.

If you have been abused, understand you are not alone.  Seek out professional help.  If nothing else, tell someone you trust and start to heal.  Understand it was not your fault either.   Start down a path to forgiveness.  It won’t be easy.

If you have been affected by someone who has been abused, same deal.  Find someone to talk to.  Learn to forgive.  It was not their fault.

Let’s see if the world actually can be a better place…

I’m switching to the Republican Party.

Yes, it’s true.  I’m switching to the Republican Party.

At this point, some of my closest friends are doing cartwheels in their driveways and screaming for joy.  I’m sure fireworks are going off at several homes.

Here is the catch:

On September 11, 2001, I watched in horror as the twin towers of the World Trade Center collapsed after having commercial jet liners flown into them by terrorists.  Almost 3000 people died during the two hours from the time the planes hit until the collapse.  I have no issues with this being a terrorist act.  It was.  During that same two hours, almost 3000 children died from hunger, malnutrition, and other poverty related causes  here in the US and around the world.  The sobering part of this is that we lost almost 3000 people when the buildings collapsed.  We have continued to lose that many people to hunger, malnutrition,  and poverty related causes every two hours since.  We debate the war in Iraq.  We debate the war in Afghanistan.  We have spent over a trillion dollars on these two conflicts combined.  Are we safer?  Perhaps.  Are the same people dying of hunger, malnutrition, and poverty related causes every two hours?  Most certainly.

My condition for switching to the Republican Party is this:  When Republicans as a Party becomes as indignant about the continued deaths of almost 3000 people around the world every two hours from hunger, malnutrition, and other poverty related causes as they are about who won the Nobel Peace Prize, I will become a card carrying Republican.  I’ll even vote for a Republican for President in the next election.  If the Republican party will produce some sort of legislation to address the issues of global hunger, malnutrition, and other poverty related causes of death I will become one of yours!

Being indignant about who won the Nobel Peace Prize doesn’t change anything.  It is what it is.  While we as Americans continue to waste our efforts by arguing the small stuff, people continue to die.  We can make a difference.  Who will step up to accept my challenge and make me switch?  Call your congressperson.  Tell them the time is right.  Tell them we can’t let a potential Republican get away.

Regards,

Bob

Reconnecting With the Past

At 17 years old I was a counselor at a church camp.  One of the girls at that camp eventually became my friend and we talked on the phone for hours at a time.  We shared our hopes and dreams.  Our fears and excitements.  We became very close.  By this time I was 20.  I would have dated her but she was only 16 and her mother (and probably mine…) would have killed me.  I took a job out of town.  The last time I saw her was at her HS graduation party.  I never went back.

I pursued life with a vengeance.  I became a successful IT professional.  I found another and got married, had children and lived the American dream.  Life was good.  I had what everyone dreams of.  A great job, beautiful wife, and two fantastic children.  I was involved in the community.  I had friends coming out of my ears.  I was blessed or so I thought.

A serious skin infection in one of my legs almost took my life in 1997.  Afterwords, my life and my marriage started to unravel.  My wife and I separated for a while and then reconciled only to see me diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma in 1998.  Eight weeks of chemo and four weeks of daily radiation later, I emerged cured.  This time the marriage would not survive.  In 1999 we separated for the final time and were divorced on June 12, 2000.  I swore to never pursue an intimate relationship again.  My life seemed to be very surreal.  It couldn’t get worse, I thought.

In 1993, my career of 22 years came to an end.  Over the next few years, I would spend my retirement while trying to take care of my kids and build a business.  I would eventually end up with both children full time and no job.  My car was repossessed and I almost lost my house.  I then went back to work at a salary that was $20,000 less than when I was severed 3 years earlier.  While things were better, and my kids were doing ok, I still felt nothing inside.  To make a long story short, this went on until this year.

I have been reconnected with many of the people I attended Jr. HS and HS with.  It has been a real blessing to have these people back in my life.  However, a couple of weeks ago, I was reconnected with a friend I had walked away from almost 30 years earlier.  As we started to talk and tell our stories, I was stunned to find out that she still remembered many details of my life back then.  Yes, she had also married and raised  a family.  She had also been through the ravages of divorce.

I’m starting to feel warm inside again for the first time in many years.  To know that someone has continued to hold you in their heart for that long and has never given up on you is extremely humbling.  I certainly don’t deserve that.  One day soon, we will meet for the first time in 28 years.  We’ll both be self-conscious of our older appearances.  We’ll talk and laugh and hold each other in long overdue hugs.  And we will cry when we have to say goodbye.   Who knows when we will get to see each other again.  I hope it’s not another 28 years.

Don’t get me wrong, I have had a wonderful life and have been blessed in more ways than I can count.  My kids are still the center of my universe.  But having someone whose voice on the phone makes you breath a little easier is awesome.  Thanks my friend!